At the cusp of the Sacred Paschal Triduum I am once again reminded of Jesus' lament over Jerusalem - his great distress over the people he deeply loves and longing for them to return his love. Perhaps we have experienced a similar distress in our own lives, a time when we had poured out our life and our heart to another only to be rejected. It is painful and often we become angry and resentful toward the person. Not Jesus - and his rejection is from one who he has known and lived for nearly 3 years. Someone who lived with him daily. Someone Jesus trusted completely, sharing all with him.
Judas has been drawn away from Jesus slowly. He has supplanted his love for Jesus with the love for money. He spies out an opportunity to make a deal to get what his heart now seeks - silver. You can imagine the anguish of Jesus. He has already lamented over the entire city of Jerusalem because he knows that they will reject, mock, ridicule, scourge and crucify him. He has come only to invite us to a life of love, peace, healing and joy, and we have prepared a cross for him. It all begins with the betrayal by one of his closest friends, for the love of silver.
Money in the form of silver had become Judas's first love, and he was spying for silver and seeking an opportunity to fulfill this love. The first love of our heart and that which is most precious to us will always be what we first seek or at least that to which we return, if we do at times stray. As we enter this most sacred of days and walk with Jesus through his passion, death, and resurrection, let us not cause him further distress. May we be like John, Veronica, Mary Magdalene, Simon of Cyrene, and Mary, Jesus' mohter whose first love is Jesus and like them console Jesus through our presence, prayer, and the love we show to each other.
Who or what is our first love? Let's reflect more intensely these days and deepen our love and commitment to Jesus as his faithful disciples who spy only for opportunities to love and follow him!